So lately I have been learning how to receive. When Eben, my mentor, first mentioned this concept in he said, “I think the most important skill to learn for success in business or any other area of life is the ability to receive.” “MOST important,” I thought, “he must be out of his mind, I have been receiving all my life.”
I am very familiar with receiving. Receiving charity, receiving pity, receiving welfare checks and holiday meals at the Rescue Mission. The price paid for such “gifts” was payment of dignity, integrity, honor and self-esteem…with full payment demanded at the time of service.
So needless to say I was shook when Eban suggested I learn how to receive fully, especially lately as I have been really focusing on giving away as much value as I can through my various blogs, articles, e-mail marketing, reports and newsletters. Even now I am searching for the words to describe the meshing of colored emotions that consumed me.
Inside, at the very core, I am sure there is helplessness, powerlessness, hopelessness and a whole host of other LESS-NESS-ES that are not even nameable, so I tried to shake it off as an idea that just didn’t really apply to me. I figured he was speaking to some of the other members of the virtual class and I left it at that. He went on to explain the difference between “getting” and “receiving” and things began to make more sense. “Getting” in the way I am talking about it here implies a lack of concern about how you acquire something. In other words, a thief with $100 may exchange his money to “get” something, or he may simply steal in order to “get” the very same thing. In this way the acquiring of the object is primary and the means of acquiring secondary.
To “receive,” on the other hand, requires ”presence.” It requires one to allow themselves to fully be with the exchange and fully experience the emotion as something is acquired. Sounds easy enough, right? Until someone says,” thank you” and I say, “don’t mention it.” Or someone says, “what you wrote was amazing,” and I act as though I did not hear them or even worse say something like,” yeah but I have to get my typing speed up, my spelling/grammar better,” or any of my other standard ways of not “receiving.”
What’s my point? I am, as promised, celebrating Thanksgiving alone. I have some ground turkey defrosting on the stove and I’ll make some rice. I think I can turn it into tacos, only I don’t have any seasoning. Oh…wait, I have ranch dressing and tortilla wraps, it can be like TEX-MEX! Anyway, earlier I walked across the street in my sweats with sandals and socks on to this little bodega for a cup of coffee. As I approached the door I saw a sign that says, ” Happy Thanksgiving-Free Coffee!” Now the owners of the store are of an Eastern decent. Chances are they do not celebrate traditional Thanksgiving, but here they were giving everyone ME free coffee. My goal then became not to say anything dumb like: “Are you sure you don’t want me to pay” or ” hey, do you guys celebrate Thanksgiving?” I was also tested with not DOING anything dumb like leaving and going to another store where I had to pay or buying a candy bar so I felt like I paid. Nope. My job was to receive. So I made my coffee, added hazelnut cream and made it delicious just as if I were going to pay. Part two of receiving is to show appreciation. Not, “hey, thanks” and keep on moving. No. I was to stop, look them right in the eye, connect with them and say, “thank you, I appreciate this.”
I did a good job. I felt it, he felt it, it was cool. I almost cried walking back across the street. But I did not…because I am still REALLY FUCKING COOL!
It is good to be in this life experience. THANK YOU for taking the time to participate in my life.
